Choice of Love – II

I wrote not too long ago about the choice of love, reflecting on whether or not God would call me away from a ministry I felt called to in order to take up another kind of calling…

…of stepping away from career and choosing family and homemaking over the job I love.  This after careful consideration of several things; not the first of which is simply because of family economics…my wife makes more than I do.  Other reasons include debating about the use of early childhood education/child care or not, the age to begin, and the kind/quality of care I would seek for my child.

Now that my child  has been born, the choice I must soon make is real and imminent.  I still don’t know what I’m going to do.  It is a choice that is hard to make, a choice that must be made, and a choice that, at least from the front end of it and the beginning of the relationship I have with my new son, will make a lasting difference in the rest of our natural lives.

Or is this really the case?  What kinds of relationship differences are there between parents who raise their own children in the home, choosing to live more frugally on one income rather than two, and those who continue to both work, placing their children in child care of some sort?  I don’t know the answer to this.

There is no question that I want to make myself useful, engaging in meaningful work for the world and other people.  The question remains, to what end; and to whom can I work meaningfully and still do what I am called to do?  And can I even honor two callings at once or must I choose between parenting and other career options?  I do not know the answer.  And all I can do is gaze out the window at the rain and contemplate…

Outside the rain is falling.

Silver clouds drip their tears of joy at this new birth.

The evergreen trees, washed out in the fog,

Speak to me of my worlds, then and now, here and there;

All is quiet after birth, and I hold my new born son,

Gazing out at falling rain.

~ stc

About Scottrick

Parent ~ Pastor ~ Poet ~ Author
This entry was posted in Poetry, Reflection. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Choice of Love – II

  1. Carolyn Hampton says:

    Scott,
    We too faced this choice (though while we were still in Seminary). How could we both answer our calling to ministry and to raise our children? Our choice was one income, sharing one ministry position. We’ve never had more than one salary. Yet God has met our every need. We chose to live simply in order to answer both callings. Over our lifetimes our ministries have fluctuated, as you well know. For me, now in ‘retirement’, I am focused on home for the moment, yet with a very strong calling to be much more public in my ministry of Christian Education in the small/wee kirk.
    How you can meet both your callings will be revealed to you, though when and how I cannot say. God is good and loving. You are in my prayers, friend.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s