In this chapter of my life right now, I have been facing several things that have felt too big for me to fully grasp on my own. I have resorted to walking the labyrinth more regularly than I ever have before. That seems to be a way for me to connect with God a bit more intentionally than I do on a day-to-day basis. I think it is beginning to work on me a bit. Today when I walked into the labyrinth before work, I held in my mind a few of the things I will face today and their ramifications for the next chapter of my life. As I walked in with those few things on my mind to “lift up and let God,” the usual rabbit trails tried to take me away from what I wanted to think about and lift up for discernment.
As I neared the center and looked up just before entering it, the thought hit me that perhaps some of the rabbit trails were things that needed to be woven into the greater whole of the issues before me. I accepted that possibility and entered the innermost circle.
When I stood in the center, I decided to close my eyes and feel what came: I became immediately aware of the sun warming my face from the east. I turned that way, knowing that a symbol of the east and of the sun’s rising warmth is that of new beginnings. I also was aware that probably if I took a step forward it would put me right in the sphere of relationships…which is one of the core issues at my current stage and the next. Relationships among family: wife, children, extended; relationships with potential parishioners, relationships with co-workers and guests; relationship with God.
I was right – standing in the sphere of relationship, I again lifted up wordless feelings and callings for help navigating that area of my life. I let the warmth of the morning sun warm my face, then I turned around to let the warmth of the sun warm my back, and realized almost immediately again that symbolically, facing west is an ending that isn’t quite an ending. It is a dieing that isn’t quite a dieing; especially in light of this season of Easter resurrection. I opened my eyes and directly in front of me was a large bush in full bloom, its delicate pinkish lavender flowers spraying outwards, appearing like an ocean wave just after it has hit a large rock.
Now, I thought, after yesterday’s prayer walk in the field and subsequent unexpected phone call, is this not more pieces of affirmation for the puzzle before me? I will know even more after today’s lunch meeting scheduled as a result of last night’s phone call. Thank you, for the nudging to listen and to wait.